Gone Fishin' Part III

The final part of Vacationfest Aught Eight found Emily and I driving over ten hours to Eureka Springs, AK at 5:30 a.m. on Monday morning, July 14th, about 12 hours after we landed in Minneapolis.

My mom turned 70 this June, so we spent the week with her and my two sisters' families to celebrate. The town itself is like Stillwater, but built on a bluff.

Highlights included...

going to Thorncrown Chapel



swimming and bumming at a nearby lake...




and visiting Pea Ridge National Military Park. I neglected to bring my camera to Pea Ridge. It was the first Civil War Battlefield I've ever been too.

When I was in college we ran a cross country meet in Virginia. We were not actually on a battlefield, but we must have been close to one. So for some reason in the hour leading up to the meet, a bunch of dudes dressed as Civil War soldiers (some were blue and some were grey) fired off a cannon every ten minutes. And then there were some Revolutionary War dudes there as well. They had their own cannon which they also fired off. So pictures that one: a bunch of skinny dudes in running singlets warming up on a golf course and then a bunch of other guys dressed in old military garb shooting cannons for no damn reason. Random.

But I digress. This was my first up close look at the Civil War. It was grim. When we were leaving the park, I stated the obvious to one of my sisters: I was glad I didn't have to fight in that war. And if I did get drafted, I would have gone AWOL, runing full speed backwards before you could even say, "Damn the torpeedos!"

And then I added that even though my sister wouldn't have had to fight, life would have sucked for her too. To which she added, "Yeah, like I'd wake up one morning and wonder what the hell I was going to do with 300 dead bodies in my front yard."

Which brings me to my point. Ever since I was a kid I have always wondered and never asked, what happened to all the bodies in the Civil War? Was there an agency to recover and bury people? Did soldiers go back later to get their fallen comrades? So I posed that question to a very informed volunteer at Pea Ridge, and he recommended this book. I don't know if I want to read it, but for some reason I feel I should.

Top Five Things I Learned On Trip #3
5. David Sedraris is a morbid dude. Maybe it's fitting, given that we spent a day at a Civil War battlefield, that I learned that David Sedaris can be just as grim as he can be funny. I bought a eight disc CD set of him reading latest book. We listened to most of it on the way to Arkansas and back. But I couldn't take more than 100 miles of it at a time when he got down dark and deep.

4. My family loves cake. Emily still has fun saying, "The Nawrockis... the family that has a cake a night." Indeed, we did bake a cake for each dinner for the week we were there (except the last night because we had to finish all the leftover cake). That's how we roll.

3. Smaller government is a good thing. I'm not about to start listening to conservative AM talk radio, but leave it to big government and beauracracy to ruin a good idea. Lipton Tea has sponsored a program to get people having a healthy experience in the national parks. So far so good. Wal-Mart chipped in on Lipton's program, at Pea Ridge, and donated a bunch of bikes to the park. As a result we could bike the eight mile loop as a family, rather than drive in a car. So far, so awesome.

The hiccup? Most of the bikes were in disrepair (missing any combination of pedals, gears, and brakes) and no one at the park was in charge of bike maintenance. And to be fair, they shouldn't be. They are park rangers, not bike repair pros. And that's what got lost in the shuffle. When this many huge companies are involved in a very local program, who amongst them is going to step and say, "Oh yeah, we'd love to supply the bike mechanics as well." That buck is just too easy for all three players to pass.

2. You get what you pay for. I'm not about to write flaming left-wing Letters-to-the-Editor crying out for more government spending and taxation, but leave it to our business and politcal culture to underfund a cool program like bikes in the national parks.

1. When canoeing in the fog, be alert for crazed jet skiiers. I went canoeing in a dammed river with Emily, my mom, and one of my sisters. It was really cool to paddle through the morning fog. Well, until we heard and eventually saw three jackasses blazing past us on their jet skis. There's no way on God's green earth they would have seen us, which is why we canoed over the river bank.

Add canoers vs. jet skiiers to two cultures that will never get along.

Gone Fishin Part II

July 11 found Emily and I celebrating our five year wedding anniversary in a very boring remake of Planes Trains and Automobiles. Well, I say it's a very boring remake because our travel plans went as scheduled. No crazy adventures with John Candy. But we did take the light rail (trains) to the airport (planes) and rented a car (automobiles) once we got to Sacramento. We went out there for a wedding and came back Sunday night, two days later.

So we drove out to Grapes of Wrath country but hung out on an organic farm run by yuppies-turned-farmers, rather than a Bossman and his 1200 Okie day-laborers. Hybrids ruled the scene, not jalopies. It was a very relaxed setting, with one exception. We stayed in a casino hotel near the farm. walking through the seizure-inducing, smoke-filled casino = not very relaxing.

Top Five Things I Learned On Trip #2

Four years later this blog has finally completed the hostile takeover of my other blog. So all lists will be found here, keeping Mrs. Deets off my back.

5. A lot of people in the casino probably couldn't tolerate five minutes in a Chuck E. Cheese. Irony, or just a contradiction?

4. This may have been a mistake.



According to to someone who knows a lot more about water resource management than I do, farm creek water, no matter how organic, is, um, less than clean. But I am sure the same can be said for any body of water.

3. Emily is a doctor. But this guy is The Doctor.



But I wouldn't follow his medical advice. He's not a real doctor. Well I guess I already knew that, so that's not something I learned. He's also not a Yankees fan, despite the Yankees hat. The Doctor is a Cub's fan. I'm also not sure why he's wearing two t-shirtd. He's an enigma. It was good to kick it with The Doctor again.

A lot of shenanigans went down at The Doctor's wedding many many moons ago. When I compare that to how tame this California wedding was, I realize we have indeed grown up over the years.

2. I ain't too bright. The car Emily and I rented had a keyless start. You push a button to start the car. We sat in the Hertz/Avis/Whatever parking lot for five minutes, the midday heat beating down on us, as I failed and failed again and again trying to figure out to start the damn car. Finally I had to get an attendant to help me. Turns out they don't teach "Car Starting 101" in college or grad school.

And then, once at the farm, I lost the keyless key for about ten minutes. Turns out they don't teach "How To Keep Track of Your Belongings" in academia either.

1. I love being married to Emily. Full disclosure here: I was hesitant to fly to Sacramento for this wedding for a weekend and then turn around the next day and drive to Arkansas. But she really encouraged me to do both trips, because she knew how important it was that I go to this wedding and how glad I would be once we did it. And she was right. It's not always fun to push someone into action (or be pushed), but I am so glad we went out to California.

Coming Soon: Our trip to Arkansas

Gone Fishin Part I

Between the July 4th weekend and last night, Emily and I have made three trips. First, over the July 4th weekend, we went to Emily's family cabin near Hancock, Wisconsin.

Never heard of Hancock? I hope not. There's nothing to do there but farm. Or hang out at a cabin on some land near Hancock that your wife's family farmed over 100 years ago. I chose the latter.

We went with our friends Zander and Julie. We were also graced by the company of Emily's sister and husband and their two sons.

There was a perfect storm of photography mayhem the night of the 4th. My brother-in-law just happens to be Minnesota's best photographer and the light was perfect for taking pictures, at least according to the Mr. Minnesota of Photography.

So while we played with whiffle balls, Ben played with his camera.



Well, we humans played whiffle ball. Pancho chased a tennis ball.



Julie has also uploaded some more of Ben's photos on her blog. Click here to see them. Ben is such a good photographer that it is worth your time, even if you have no idea who Zander and Julie are.

Top Five Things I Learned During Trip #1
5. It is legal to shoot off pretty much any kind of firework in Wisconsin.
4. Pancho is terrified of most of these fireworks. Especially ones that look and sound like professional fireworks. And are fired off non-stop for 45 minutes. Less than 500 feet from our beachfront.
3. The one place Pancho feels safest when he's away from home is the backseat of my car. Actually I already knew this. But what I didn't know is he sheds like crazy when terrified.



2. Zander and Julie love s'mores as much as Ben loves building a bonfire as tall as he is. In fact Zander and Julie love s'mores so much, they will make them even while the fire is taller then Ben. Ben is taller than I am, meaning that was one tall, hot fire Zander and Julie broiled their s'mores in.
1. Leinenkugel's makes a summer shandy, which I liked a lot more than the self-proclaimed experts (snobs?) at Beer Advocate. Of course those guys have some sort of a grading rubric with its own language.

Here's my rubric for scoring a beer:
Does it go down singing hymns?
If the answer is YES, drink more.
If the answer is NO. Finish the beer anyway and do not order or buy it again.

I found Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy went down signing hymns. Some people less secure in their masculinity may slap the "girlie" label on this beer, but I don't care. I am comfortable enough to hold a bottle of it next to me. It's not like it's a Zima or something.

Coming Soon: Our trip to California.